I'm back, and much sooner than you expected hehe. This feature started from a need to share personal things and like I mentioned in the previous post, this time I'm going to focus on my constant struggle with losing weight.
When I was a kid I was very athletic. I played so many sports and I even competed in swim meets. However, at the age of eleven, I started feeling a lot of pains in my knees and after visiting a few doctors I found out that I have Poli-Rheumatoid Arthritis Juvenile, which means that I have an inflammation in all the joints of my body.
From that moment on my life was never the same. Even before all that, I was never the popular kid, I tended to fall under the "dorky kid" category and when I didn't even have sports to back me up, I became the chubby dorky kid. You can imagine that my self-esteem took a nosedive and being bullied definitely didn't help.
To help contextualize my childhood, you guys need to understand that I love my mom, but she has always been very controlling and strict. For the longest time, I didn't really have a personality of my own, her demands and punishments were too much for me to take, so much so that for 3 years (from 11 to 13 years old) I was in deep depression. I wasn't happy at home or at school, so I lived for the time I could go to bed and simply sleep.
Well, from that period on, until I was about 16, that was my life. Things started changing in 2001, when I moved with my mom and stepdad (my parents divorced when I was 14) to a different city. There I started asserting my psychological independence and I finally made friends that allowed me to find out who I really was.
Let's jump to 2006, before I get too sidetracked LOL. That was when I decided to do the Atkins diet for a couple months, resulting in me eating less from then on and consequently losing 70lb. Whilst losing all that weight, was when I started realizing some very interesting things. I have always been outgoing, but when it comes to boys, I suck (not in a good way) and because of that I started actually dating, pretty late in life. When I lost most of the total pounds I ended up losing, I thought things would change automatically, and boy, was I wrong?!
I got really depressed that things didn’t magically become better and while opening up on the subject to a friend, she pointed out that there was no use in changing appearance if there is no attitude adjustment. I woke up to it then and luckily made a new friend that was just who I needed at that moment. She was chubby as well and had a very healthy self-esteem. I learned so much from her and I will be forever grateful.
Halfway through 2007 another huge change came along, I moved to Israel to live with my dad, who had moved there 2 years before. It was the most amazing experience of my life. Living 3 years in Tel Aviv was an incredible adventure. However, during my last year there, I let go of any discipline I had and started gaining all the weight back, even more than before actually.
So here we are, 2 years after I came back to Brazil in April 2010, leaving Israel 92 lb heavier. The weight is awful for my health and it has come to a moment that I need to buckle up and do what is necessary. So, I decided to start another diet. What I am doing now is similar to weight watchers but it's online. I pay for it monthly and I get help from nutritionists that evaluate my weekly development and give guidance. It is MUCH slower, but I am drastically changing my eating habits and 11 weeks in I have lost 22lb =)
One thing I want to say before finishing up this post. After all that I have been through, I have come to realize that having an "internal" makeover is just as important, if not more so, than the physical one. I have lost and gained many pounds, but the way I feel about myself and my attitude have changed and THAT is something I have much more control over. All that makes me think that if I had the same frame of mind I have right now, back when I was in my late teens, I would have been much happier.
Hope I didn't bore you all with my story. Thank you for all the support and love you have given me in the previous post, you guys rock!
I would love for you share some of yours as well =)
Me now =D
Thanks for stopping by and I'll see you soon,
I think you look beautiful!!
Thanks for sharing your story. Not everyone finds such a good friend as you had to help you through everything you had to overcome. I think that is amazing and so are you!
Oh my gosh, Larissa! Having only ever known you over the blogosphere, I can't believe you have this whole other side to you when you were younger. I always think you're so outgoing and confident because that's how you come across in cyberspace.
That's awful that you were ever bullied as a child. I was a dorky kid too (luckily, I had fellow dorks for friends) I was teased more in high school, but by then I'd had more time to cope and know who I was and be able to brush the bullying aside. I can't imagine going through that so young!
I just can't imagine you ever being a wallflower or anything but the outgoing, beautiful girl you are now :)
Congrats for taking control and doing what you need to do for yourself and your health. Taking the weight off slowly is healthier and will usually be more lasting. Great job, I know you can do it. I too have had struggles with my weight. I lost 50 pounds about six years ago and then over time gained about 20 back. I've now lost that 20 again and another 30 on Weight Watchers (which my company pays for). I need to lose about 20 more and though it's going slowly, I know I'll get there.
@Melissa
Thanks Mel! I was very lucky!
@Danielle
Thanks hon! All thatexperience really molded me. I am outgoing and confident, NOW, in a way I am grateful for goign throu all, cause it made me who I am now :)
@Barbara
Thanks so much for the support! You'll def get there! Congrats on losing so much weight as well!
I was never overweight as a kid but I had all the wrong ideas about how my body was (aka I always thought I was overweight).
Now after two kids I have gained 15 kilos (aprox 33pounds) and I can't seem to get rid of them. I haven't tried with focus, I try to exercise (but not too much) I have tried not to eat much (but not always). Some times I feel good about myself and some times I feel awful. I know I want to loose those 33pounds but I can't try, I want them to magically disappear! Funny and stupid if you ask me!
Kelp trying Larissa and maybe you'll inspire me too!
@Marina
I hope i do! :)