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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

BHSV – Jess Haines Guest Blogs & International Giveaway!

117 Lovely Comments!

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Alec Royce Talks About How Vampires Cope with the Summer Sun
By Jess Haines
Hello there! Jess Haines here. I’m the author of the urban fantasy H&W Investigations series (HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, TAKEN BY THE OTHERS, DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS). I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to some of the cast—Shiarra Waynest, the lead character, Chaz, her werewolf boyfriend, Arnold, a mage who lends her a hand, and Alec Royce, a vampire Shiarra meets in the course of her adventures.
Royce is going to tell you a little bit about what it’s like for vampires to deal with summer.
Shiarra: Poor vamps. I bet no amount of SPF can save you from the summer sun.
Royce: Actually—
Chaz: Dude. You must hate the summer.
Arnold: I bet the White Hats love taking advantage of the shorter nights and longer days.
Royce: Indeed.
Shia: I love summertime. Except I never tan, I always burn.
Chaz: You’re adorable when you’re red.
Shia: *blushes*
Royce: Ugh. Can we move on?
Arnold: Hey, I have a question.
Royce: Yes?
Arnold: Do you sparkle—
Royce: Don’t make me hurt you, spark.
Shia: I bet he does. Or do you just turn into barbeque in sunlight?
Royce: I—
Chaz: What does it take a vamp to keep from turning into walking, talking beef jerky? SPF 10,000?
Shia: …ew. That must suck. No beach volleyball, no summer barbeques, no tan lines, no parties by the pool…
Arnold: Oh, hey. Do your parts fall off in water?
Royce: What? Why would you even ask—
Arnold: Decomposing flesh falls off in water. So?
Chaz: Sick, man. That’s just sick.
Royce: Why am I here if none of you will let me speak?
Chaz: You can talk, wormbait. Nobody is stopping you.
Shia: Oh, ew. I just thought of something else. You’re technically dead, right?
Royce: …yes. Technically.
Shia: Doesn’t that mean you, you know… rot more in the summer? Ew, ew, ew!
Royce: …
Arnold: That was pretty gross. Now I want to know.
Royce: We do not rot unless we fail to feed regularly. Ugh.
Shia: Even if you got stuck in the sun? You don’t get all… spoiled milk smelly or something?
Royce: What the hell kind of question is that?
Chaz: He already smells pretty bad.
Royce: I beg your pardon!
Arnold: He does? I don’t smell anything.
Shia: I thought I smelled bullsh—
Chaz: Ahem!
Shia: …sorry.
Royce: I don’t have to take this abuse, you know.
Shia: Hey! It was a legitimate question.
Royce: I find poor hygiene tends to run prospective donors off. If you must know, I use cologne and shampoo and deodorant, just like any human might.
Shia: Toothpaste?
Royce: Of course.
Chaz: Floss?
Royce: Yes.
Arnold: Soap?
Royce: Yes. Moving on.
Chaz: I think we should take him outside and see what happens.
Shia: Flash-fried vamp strips?
Royce: That’s it. I’m done.
Arnold: Do they turn into hot wings? Get it, vamp hot wings? Ha! I made a funny.
Royce: Hate. You. All.
You can learn more about Shiarra and the rest of her friends in HUNTED BY THE OTHERS.
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If you'd like a chance to win a signed copy of the first three books in the series, leave a comment below telling us what you think a vampire should do to stay cool and not get fried by the summer sun! (Larissa can give you the details on any brownie points that earn you extra entries.)
Thanks again for having me and the gang over, Larissa! {- My pleasure Jess!}
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117 Responses so far.

  1. Robin says:

    Dang, poor Royce!!!

  2. Robin says:

    I suggest he stay inside with air conditioning on.

  3. Ash says:

    My suggestion would be either to stay inside or get one of those luxurious tent-like creations like all the fancy resorts show off in their commericals and lounge there in style. :D

  4. stay inside, using sunglasses, with black shirt (if he want to see outside)

  5. I think a vampire should do the same thing I do to stay cool in the summer - stay inside in the nice air conditioning, and only go outside after the sun goes down. I live in Florida, so I know what it's like to fry in the sun, and I avoid it if possible.

  6. Ricki says:

    Not really sure how this helps with the sun, but the very first thing that came to mind about vampires staying cool was to eat a lot of snow cones (recommended flavor - Tiger's Blood).

  7. Linda says:

    Stay indoors with the aircon on. Never hurts to slather sun block even when indoors.

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  8. Laura says:

    Take a vacation and go to some place that would be perfect for a vampire, perhaps Seattle Washington its cloudy for most of the time but it rains a lot or maybe England! definitely!! and if he dent want to just stay indoors like chilling with the AC

  9. I'd suggest staying indoors, turning the A/C on, drinking plenty of liquids (haha) and investing in some black-out curtains that do wonders to keep the sun out!

  10. Voodoo Bride says Royce should stay safe from the summer sun by hiding out with her as she knows all the dark, cool and romantic places in Groningen. Other vamps could send a photo of their face and butt and she'll see if she can help them out as well.

    My advice: spend the summer as far South as possible (or North if it's southern summer if you get my drift)

  11. Blodeuedd says:

    Lol, great question ;)
    I say he should stay inside with me. I would be sure that no sun made it inside and since I live way up north..way up north then it doesn't get too hot here. Of course the sun never goes down either

  12. Birgit says:

    Well, I'd say they should hibernate!
    Bears do it in winter, vampires in summer :-D !

  13. Vivien says:

    Bury themselves in the ground. Deep.

  14. buddyt says:

    Well avoiding the sun is easy as traditional vampires normally only move about at night !

    As for staying cool, well if he lives in a place with a hot summer he should split his time between northern and southern hemisphere countries.

    Carol T

    buddytho {at} gmail DOT com

  15. Tore says:

    I think a vampire should stay inside with air-conditioning. Thanks for the giveaway. Please enter me in contest. Tore923@aol.com

  16. Ren says:

    Poor, poor Royce! It suck for him,while the others enjoy summers, he will be crispy when go outside to enjoy summer. But don't worry I'll make him an extra special sunblock. It made from cucumber and aloe vera, contain SPV 300, and many secretz ingredients. Still think what name will be suitable for it. Maybe "Rocye gaga over at summer?"
    (LOL, just kidding ;) )

    Or, I will give him an easy option, enjoy summer at Alaska or Antartika can help ;)

    Thanks for the giveaway!
    sawamura_foxman AT yahoo DOT com

  17. Julie says:

    Air conditioning! I'd say go for a dip in a nice cold pool, but the sun might make that a little bit hard on a vampire!
    jwitt33 at live dot com

  18. Anonymous says:

    Royce and any other vamp should do what I do, stay inside and enjoy air conditioning. I have never been a sun worshipper.

  19. Anonymous says:

    "What you think a vampire should do to stay cool and not get fried by the summer sun?"

    Answer: Perhaps he/she should go to Forks, Washington and relax..maybe even have a "Bella Burger"?


  20. That conversation between the characters was really funny.
    And I think Royce should pack a few ice packages close to his body doing summer. It oughta feel good, right? :D

  21. I suggest finding a cave with ac piped in.
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  22. Got to have a good jacket to shield yourself cool sunglasses and stay in the shade at all cost. Staying inside would be the smartest way to stay cool

  23. Just stay inside, at least for right now- summer is gross.

  24. aw just want to find a way for Royce to enjoy the summer

    oh Larissa I tried to find the event button but where it says click here it wouldn't?

  25. Denise Z says:

    Thank you so much for the wonderful giveaway opportunity. I love this series!

  26. Jessica says:

    Hahaha!! Loove these character interviews/conversations! They are just so fun! Not sure if I would be able to write one that good without it turning into a novel!!

  27. Jessica says:

    Blah! Forgot to answer the question! D'oh! ;)

    Uh...SPF 1000? They make that these days right?

    Or if anything wear clothes that cover your body completely. It'll be hot, but you won't turn into dust!

  28. Denise Z says:

    I forgot to answer the question as I was so busy gushing about the giveaway! Loved the interview - I think they would need a sun reflector shield - you know those shiny thinks that help folks tan only in reverse - it could be in the form of a giant hat, an umbrella, or how about a coat and hat - in fact since I am allergic to the sun, I think I want one :)

  29. Well, the logical answer is to stay out of the sun or in a coffin, LOL! But if a vampire had to get out in the sun and it didn't completely fry them then they'd need some serious sunscreen, dark sunglasses, the usual...

  30. Mel says:

    Hmm...smothering the hot vamps in ice cream should keep them cool for a while! And yummy! :-)

  31. Air-conditioning would be best when he's indoors and after-sun soothing gel could be used to ease any light burns from stray shafts of sunlight:)


  32. Avery says:

    Move to Canada where we either a) don't get any sun because we are having blizzards or b) don't get sun because the sun is totally blocked out by massive downpours.... :/

    Oh well, I guess the benefit is said lack of sunburn... ;)


  33. Skinny Dipping in a inside pool would help. I could be his towel girl. ;)

    thebooknympho AT gmail DOT com

  34. practimom says:

    That was priceless!!

    To stay cool, i suggest indoor pools with plenty of colds ones for your non vampy friends!

    practimom (at) yahoo (dot) com

  35. Live deep in the woods where the sun can't shine on you and only venture out on dark & rainy days.


    alterlisa AT yahoo DOT com

  36. Anonymous says:

    A vampire should find a witch to make a special - I don't burn in sunlight ring.

    tahlianewland at yahoo dot com

  37. lingeorge says:

    Isn't this where the term "Underground Club" comes from? It is very cool in the lower basements, and only the "coolist" get in.

  38. donnas says:

    Stay inside with the AC and lots of ice and frozen treats made out of their favorite beverage.

  39. Jo-Anne says:

    Of course he has to stay inside. With the aircon on. Clothes are optional.

  40. The vampire should stay inside…maybe take a swim in an indoor pool, run the a/c nice and low….

  41. Skinny dipping in the lake in the middle of the night...sorry, daydreaming. How does he keep cool in the sun? Well, one of those silly little hand fans would totally ruin the image, so I am going to have to go with massive amounts of sunscreen.

  42. NoraA says:

    A very well furnished set of rooms in his mansion with a/c and no way for the sun to get in.

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  43. Aik says:

    Immerse himself in ice! Haha!

  44. I would say stay inside!!

  45. Stay inside with the a/c on :)

  46. Julie S says:

    If one must go outside, how about a nice wide-brimmed hat?

  47. I'd have to say stay indoors or underground during the day. Air Conditioning and ice tea help.

  48. Dovile says:

    I'd say the easiest would be to move somewhere cold, like up some mountains.

  49. Poor Royce, great insight. x

  50. Live in a city like Toronto where the underground tunnels give you access to everything you need. A vampire never needs to step outdoors.

  51. Not entering the giveaway-just wanted to say this series sounds interesting.

  52. Not entering the giveaway-just wanted to say this series sounds interesting.

  53. Rad Hall says:

    Aestivate; all the cool kids are doing it ...

  54. get one of those personal AC neck thingies.

  55. That is a good question. Maybe they should all try to migrate to the North where it isn't all that hot or while they are sleeping during the day, stay in a freezer instead of a coffin. They seal tight and don't let heat in, it would work :) Thank you guys for the great post :)

  56. Tura Lura says:

    Stay inside! And drink plenty of fluids. ^_^

  57. Anonymous says:

    A very high SPF sunblock and maybe they can dress like bikers like in Blade!
    filled out form with name Krysta Banco


  58. Cherry says:

    The easiest answer to the trivia question would be to migrate to the North Pole... but that would not be much fun at all! So how about persuading a mage to brew you a spell which acts like a super-sunblock with gazillion SPF and prevents a vampire from melting like ice cream in a hot summer sun?! If not, then do the tried and tested, good old fashioned way, stay out of the sun and go out at night only :)

    Cherry Mischievous
    cherrymischif-soldier [at] yahoo [dot] com

  59. Jenn says:

    I'd say stay inside and only go out at night. Get a good book because that way they won't be so bored stuck inside either that or enjoy the summer cruising the net.

  60. I suggest they buy a lot of fans! and maybe an AC system that might help too. But dont hunt on hot nights only hunt on cool nights! lol

    Great interview thanks for the giveaway!!

  61. vampires should wear white clothes so it would reflect the sunlight/heat.

  62. Jennie says:

    Stay inside and get a good A/C system. Maybe use some sunblock? Just kidding! Hahaha

  63. My vote is to stay inside with the AC. No sense in going out and getting hurt!

  64. Meredith says:

    Hilarious! Poor Royce! Doesn't sparkle, isn't going to rot, and won't go into the sunlight to amuse his friends. Maybe it's time for new friends. lol

    meredithfl at gmail dot com

  65. summer and vampires staying cool by haning out in the basement (all cement(

  66. I think a vampire should dig a big hole in the ground, insert a coffin and sleep underground until nightfall, then they can come out and kick butt! :)

    Thank you for the opportunity!

  67. I think he should just stay inside. I'm not a vamp and its too warm out there for me! Otherwise, go find the highest sunscreen he can find and slather it on!

  68. GulfGal says:

    I'd invite him to the 'Coffintorium' where
    a specially fitted coffin with air-cooling would make
    Vamp feel quite comfortable--along with a built in
    blood bar, just in case his thirst kinks in!

  69. I would say stay inside and stay cool! Great giveaway thank you so much!

  70. BlackWolf says:

    I think he should stay inside all day and go aut at night

  71. I think a vampire should stay cool by staying inside with the air conditioner on or a fan. The vampire could also make an indoor pool :D

  72. Dina says:

    they need to wear the highest protection tanning lotion and use an umbrella to keep the sun away and find some cool wind.

  73. janhvi says:

    i think a vampire should most definitely be able to stay supercoolduring summer because everybody should get to enjoy summer!:)

    GFC-Janhvi Jagtap
    justjanhvi at gmail dot com

  74. Misha says:

    They must use suntan cream:D


  75. JenM says:

    I would think that the best thing to do is to split time between the Northern and Southern Hemispheres. That way, summer would never be a problem.

  76. Just really big, havy and black unbrella will do the thing!

  77. My suggestion is to do what I am doing right now, sitting in front of a fan trying to cool off :) with my A/C on blast and keeping it as dark as possible in the house

  78. they could stay cool by staying in a base ment with 2 a/c's going and black thick curtains up. thanks for the giveaway

  79. Midnite says:

    I think the best way to stay cool in the summer is to move someplace that's cool in the summer. I suggest moving between Argentina and Denmark. That way you can stay cool year round.


  80. Melliane says:

    I think a vampire should live in the north of sweeden for exemple. There, it never gets really hot during summer but he should wear sometimes some long clothes according to the weather beacause even if it rains a lot, the day is very long too.

  81. Jeanne says:

    Vampire should go to Forks and eat Bella xD Sorry Bella, but she so...boring! Then he should enjoy rainy weather and perhaps do something with Jacob and Edward because I don´t like them either...
    Thanks gor this giveaway!

  82. Tamara says:

    In answer to Jess' question, I supposed they should... stay in the shade and drink lots of fluids?

    tamara525 gmail com

  83. Kulsuma says:

    hibernate in summer:)

  84. winnie says:

    I think a vampire should stay inside and have protective windows that keep the rays out so that they can still enjoy the daytime scenery outside.


  85. Anonymous says:

    Answer: Wear gorgeous, sexy, dark clothes.

    Thanks for the giveaway!

  86. Davida says:

    The best way for a vamp to stay cool in the summer would have to be having a gazebo so they could lay in the shade outside.

  87. Kassandra says:

    Best way to stay cool is to stay inside during the day and take late night swims!


  88. JessS says:

    Eat some icecream. (Really I just think it'd be hilarious to see).


  89. _yay_ says:

    I suggest using one of these pocket ventilators. If it gets too much...just stay inside :)

    Following this blog.
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  90. erin says:

    Thanks for an awesome giveaway!

    I'd say, find a nice underground cement crypt, make it homey and settle in til the sun goes down :)

  91. I live in the south. So...Good luck with that. lol. All I can suggest is to stay inside with the air on high and drink lots of fluids. hmm..

  92. Sorry. Forgot something important.

  93. Well, the easiest way for a vampire to to cool and don't get fried is to stay at home, in the shadows xD Or vampires should live in Forks xD

    Thanks for the post and the giveaway - I loved this question :P

  94. I suspect a Vamp would stay cool no matter what the temperature.. the real issue seems to be not getting fried to death!! In that case staying in seems the simplest solution since an umbrella and gloves might be a bit odd to the humans....


  95. What a unique question!! Love it. I would think that a vampire could/should move to Alaska or swim in ice.

    Thank you for this amazing giveaway!

  96. Lexi says:

    He should cover himself in melted dark chocolate.....
    Oh that didn't work? Then I guess I will help him clean it off, did I mention I love dark chocolate?

    Thanks for such a great giveaway! Loved the character banter!


  97. Ina says:

    stay inside and enjoy the icecream ;)
    greetings, Ina

  98. Carmen R says:

    He should come to my house. i will make sure he doesn't get bored while having to stay out of the sun.

  99. I have 10 wonderful acres here in Alaska on a mountain no less. I listen to a wolf pack howl up on the backside of the mountain, and I often howl back at them, Vampires are welcome here...*S* Send them on up...*S*

    Thank you for the delightful contest!


    pommawolf @ hotmail.com

  100. Beverly says:

    Staying cool and unfried? Well, I guess a nice basement with airconditioning, a big stack of books and enough chocolate to get through the daylight hours. Oh, wait, that's what I do! Maybe we could hang out together!
    Thanks for hosting.

  101. marybelle says:

    A cool shower & loads of icy cold watermelon.


  102. Indoor swimming pools would come in handy! And night trips to the beach to swim.

    Mostly, I'd avoid outdoors and stick to movies!

  103. Hi Jess! I have to say that I have been wanting to read this series! There is only so much time in each day and money has been tight, They seem to be exactly my cup of tea!
    Thanks for the giveaway!'Cindy Bailey

  104. lingeorge says:

    I can picture it now -- an Olympic sized pool in the deepest basement, the bar serving iced blood cocktails....
    troublelore at gmail dot com

  105. roro says:

    A cool shower 2nd stay inside ,only go out at night and a /c on high


  106. stay inside and eat lots of ice cream

  107. janhvi says:

    thanks for the giveaway and for making it international!!
    i think he should eat loads of ice cream and drink milkshakes.chocolate of course;)

    GFC-Janhvi Jagtap
    justjanhvi at gmail dot com

  108. Kanya says:

    Stay inside, with a cool human!
    Thanks for the giveaway!

  109. I suggest he stay underground!

  110. Pam S says:

    Staying in doors with air conditioning? Blood Pops?

    LOL enjoyed the fun post ty for sharing - Royce sounds like quite a character!

    pams00 @ aol.com

  111. He's gotta stay inside and out of the sun.

  112. Hahaha, loved the post!!! The characters sound really fun, I really have to get this books, so thanks for the giveaway :)

    Answer: Stay inside, but if the vampire have to go out, where something from head to toes ;)

  113. LOL, I meant wear something, not where :D

  114. If he has to go out, I think he should use 100 SPF sun screen and carry an umbrella

  115. Spav says:

    Maybe they should have an ice cold swimming pool in their houses.

  116. Chacha says:

    Would an air conditioner coffin be like waaay to silly? LOL

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