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Monday, May 28, 2012

Larissa's Bookish Diary {Chapter THREE} - Just Phunk With My Heart

9 Lovely Comments!


I absolutely suck at romance and dating! Just wanted to get that out there right up front. I guess I started dating a bit late in life because of a number of different reasons, but that isn’t really a reason for anything, it’s just a fact. Regardless, I simply suck at the whole dating thing. I never know when to call, not call, text, not text, play nonchalant or express how I feel. I can’t play the game and for a while now I have been coming to the conclusion that this is maybe a game I should not even try to play. I hate not being able to be myself and having to act a certain way to attract or not scare a guy off, I hate the limbo between a first date or meet and the possibility of a call or a second date. I just hate all that and even though I am not closed up for romance, I am tired of it all really. Guys, this post isn’t about needing reassurance that one day I will find the right person, it’s only me opening up a different part of me that I don’t really share online all that often =) A lot of people over the years have come to me and said: “You need to love yourself before you can love someone else”. I so agree with that and I honestly am completely happy on my own. I don’t need a man to make me happy and make me feel fulfilled. However, I would like to share pieces of me, my heart and my life with someone other than my friends and family. It is not a NEED it’s a WANT and I am good with that. I simply hate how inadequate the dating scene can make you feel, specially for a chubby girl. Self confidence is the hardest thing for me to hold onto and society doesn’t really help, does it? Despite that, with the diet and losing weight, I have been doing quite well with holding on to my confidence, but it is so hard when all you see around are mini skirts and tight dresses =/ Oh well, I guess I should end my venting here LOL

How about you guys?

Have you ever had any issues with the dating scene? 

I would love to hear your story, being it one with a happy ending or not =D




9 Responses so far.

  1. Danielle says:

    I am in the exact same boat when it comes to boys :) one of my friends has signed us up for speed-dating... so that should be a whole new level of crazy, awkward embarrassment to look forward to!

  2. marina says:

    wish I could offer a word of advice but I'm married for the past 9 years and I've been with my husband for at least 12 so any tips are totally old-fashioned!

  3. Unknown says:

    @Danielle

    LOL I would totally do that for the entertainment value alone LOL pity I cant seem to find anything like it in Brazil hehe

    @marina

    Awwwww thats great! Hope you guys have many years more :)

  4. JenM says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I rarely dated when I was in my teens and twenties. My mom kept telling me to just act flirty and to not flaunt my intelligence, to which my argument was "why would I want a guy who didn't like me as I really was?" LOL. I was very self-sufficient and was fine being alone. On the other hand, just when I figured I'd never meet anybody who appreciated me the way I was, I met the hubs, and that was that. We just sort of skipped the whole dating phase and went right into the relationship, so to this day, I've never really dated. It's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality.

  5. Unknown says:

    @JenM

    Lol thanks for giving me hope. But I am with you there, I am self-sufficient and I shouldnt settle for someone that doesnt like me for being me, right? :))))

  6. JenM says:

    You can pretend to be someone else for awhile, but in the end, your real self will come through, so as long as you are okay with being alone, there's no point in settling for someone that doesn't like/love the real you. Luckily we live in a time when women have alternatives to marriage/partnership - not that I'm saying that's what you want, but at least you don't have as much societal pressure to settle.

    I know someone that always pretends when she meets a new guy but she can't keep it up forever and in the end, when the "real" person comes out, the relationship ends up breaking out (of course, that's because she's not a very nice person, but that's a whole different issue LOL).

  7. Unknown says:

    @JenM so true! LOL that person sounds lovely LMAO

  8. I am the exact same way!!! My friends and family always give me crap because I am 33 and single and havent dated in about 8 years. I cant make anybody understand that I AM FINE on my own. And u are spot on about the chubby part! I used to be tiny as in size 3/4 and am far far from that now. It kills the self confidence.

  9. I hated dating and even now, years into my marriage, even the word dating makes me cringe. There is no torture worse. Keep your head up though and remember dates from hell just make great stories to tell your girlfriend's later.

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