Friday, April 2, 2010
Flashback Blues and Too much Longing...
Five hours back in Rio and I already am crying... I´m so down right now and I feel that best way for me to deal with this is to share my heartache with you guys... Hope you don´t mind...
Have you your ever felt that even after a long time away from some place and a lot of personal growth, when you go back there NOTHING has changed?
That´s how I´m feeling right now... I haven´t lived here in 10 years and those were the worst days of my life... Leaving the best place and the best days in Tel Aviv, coming back here and feeling like an alien in my own homeland is so freaking weird and sad...
I miss Tel Aviv like crazy... I hate having to stay at my grandma´s until our apartment get vacated (bad history between us) and I just plain feel out of place. I feel like my 16 year-old self and I hate it!
Im just sad guys... I just wish it was just me and dad at our cramped little place again... My best friends are here and that makes me happy... but I can´t have them all the time and being alone in a place i feel I belong trumps being near them in a place I feel like such an outsider in...
I hate how Im feeling... my dad doesnt deserve it, cause he did his best... I know and hope it will get better... butI am NOT happy right now...
Thank you for all the love you guys are always throwing my way! YOU ROCK!
xoxo
Larissa
Have you your ever felt that even after a long time away from some place and a lot of personal growth, when you go back there NOTHING has changed?
That´s how I´m feeling right now... I haven´t lived here in 10 years and those were the worst days of my life... Leaving the best place and the best days in Tel Aviv, coming back here and feeling like an alien in my own homeland is so freaking weird and sad...
I miss Tel Aviv like crazy... I hate having to stay at my grandma´s until our apartment get vacated (bad history between us) and I just plain feel out of place. I feel like my 16 year-old self and I hate it!
Im just sad guys... I just wish it was just me and dad at our cramped little place again... My best friends are here and that makes me happy... but I can´t have them all the time and being alone in a place i feel I belong trumps being near them in a place I feel like such an outsider in...
I hate how Im feeling... my dad doesnt deserve it, cause he did his best... I know and hope it will get better... butI am NOT happy right now...
Thank you for all the love you guys are always throwing my way! YOU ROCK!
xoxo
Larissa
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((Hugs)) I hope things get better.
I'm sorry Larissa but I promise you things will get better. I know it's probably hard to believe that now but things will get better and going through all this will make you a stronger person:) Try to focus on the good stuff and what makes you happy then all the sad stuff wont be too bad. Hope this helps;o)
Big hugs from me too!
I hope you get to move into your own place soon. I'm sure that will make a big difference, being able to be on your own again and get used to really being back without feeling like a visitor and having to be around people who eat up your energy and time.
Oh I'm so sorry you feel this way, I know exactly how sucky it is. I also feel like an alien every time I go back to my country :(
I hope things get better for you! :)
(((hugs)))
Sorry youre upset Larissa, I hope things pick up for you soon
Hey Larissa. I agree with Paper Cut. Things will get better. Its difficult and emotional right now but eventually things will get better and you will get through this. You have to stay strong and just think of this as a new chapter in your life. And this new chapter you are going to make the best of it! Wishing you the best! *hugs*
Aw, sweetie. Is it too cheesy to say 'it's always darkest before the dawn'? You're feeling terrible right now, but it won't last (as impossible as that may seem).
I'm sorry you're feeling down in the dumps. **HUGS**
Oh Larissa, I'm so sorry. I wish to tell to I'll all be better but I don't know. Maybe it will be! Or maybe you can go back?
I understand how you feel like an outsider...it happens to me too. But you're such a good person, I known you will find your way back...
Big hugs!! And hey! maybe you can come visit me, in Venezuela? xD
Hey Larissa, you'll see. Everything will get better.
smoochies
So sorry! Hang in there, I know things will get better. Who knows where you'll be in a few years? You have your whole life ahead of you!
HUGS!
Cheer up sweetie! Try and think positive thoughts. {{big super hug}}
(Hugs) Hopefully when you get your own place it will be much better.
Awww hugs Larissa! I can't imagine how hard it must be to move to a different country - even though you have moved back home. It must be hard to leave new friends behind but I hope you settle in soon. I'm sure things will get better in time :o)
We are here for you Larissa. Holding it in never helps so let it all out. It will get better just hang in there.
Stephanie G
((hugs)) It's always hard moving-no matter how well you know the place you're moving to or how many people you know. I hope things get better for you soon.