Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Did I...???
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Yeah, I know... I disappear for almost a month and now I come here and decide to flood this simple little blog with more than one post in one day... I wish i could say I hadn't written anything in a while because my life was hectic and I didnt have time... But, I don't lie here... I simply didn't write cause I had some time off from school and I got into my hibernation mode... which means sleeping all day, watching TV and hanging out with friends all night...
Not so bad, I have to admit, but during that time I couldn't muster and ounce of strength to come here and write anything... I love my hibernation periods, but I do feel quite glad to be back in "action", whatever that means... hehe
well, I stopped by again because of a little chat I had with a dear friend between classes today... As usual we were talking about boys and our recent boy X girl experiences/adventures... I say "X" (Versus) because as any game each one is in an opposite side and a lot of times with different objectives...
Moving on... The conversation drifted fast, from catching up to recent events and planing the weekend outings to trying to figure out what we did wrong in every failed "relationship" past... which I have found to be a complete waste, most of the time... nonetheless we girls more frequently than not find ourselves hovering and sometimes even landing and stopping for a long visit in this topic... This time it was not different...
With the passing of time I have come to realize that I learn much more from my own "mistakes" than by my friend's... yes, it is much easier to look at their situation from the outside and give great advice (which Im not, at all, bad at...) than taking that advice and doing something about it... Apparentely we need to trip, fall and be covered in mud to realize that something might be or is very wrong... It is a fact that we learn from our own mistakes (or at least, we should)...
On the other hand, it came up to me during this recent "sex and the city" moment, that perhaps our so called "mistakes" are not really mistakes... that things happen the way they are supposed to and if it didn't work out, it wasn't because you had sex on the first date, but because it wasn't meant to be... Hold the stones just yet, I know it is easy to say and that being in that situation is completely different... getting dumped or ignored hurts and we constantly need to find a reason for it... unfortunately, we usually blame those "mistakes" im talking about... What womem out there never thought to herself: "Did I put out too soon?", "Should I have put out?", "Did I call too much?", "Did I not give enough attention?"...
We are hunted by those shadows and they do nothing but put doubts in our mind and make our self confidence reach new kinds of lows...
From personal experience (I am aware that my experiences will not really influence yours, as previously stated... but who cares... its my blog :P), I have been in situations where I had sex on a first date and it ruined everything, It took more for it to happen and it got nowhere and where I had sex in the second date and there was a chance of being something good (I made other kinds of mistakes that resulted from thinking that i had already made one... Im not getting into details now :P)...
What I have figured out in the end is that most of the time dwelling on the so called mistakes is useless, it's not easy, but the best thing is to realize that it was just not meant to be and move on...
One of my mottos is: "JUST BECAUSE IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, IT DOES NOT MEAN IT WENT WRONG."
Disclaimer: I'm not referring to long term relationships, but simplt to the very begining of something that might become one or not...
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